What A Dream Can Mean
Dreams And The Unconscious Mind
Good Morning!
I had a dream recently that I want to share with you. Maybe because I know what it feels like to wake up aching, missing the one person who made life feel solid, steady, and real.
It started with me listening to a man talk about dreams on a podcast. I just randomly started playing on my walk.
He said that our dreams can hold messages glimpses of what’s going on in our hearts or even whispers from heaven. Kinda Woo Woo but, I was intrigued.
As I listened, I realized: I don’t really remember my dreams. Maybe my mind has been too full, too heavy. Maybe my brain doesn’t quiet down enough to let dreams rise to the surface. I am sure you might relate to the noise in our brains! Grief does that!
But I was curious. So I did something simple, I asked God to speak to me in my dreams.
The first few nights? Nothing. I woke up with no memory, no message, just a quiet blank. And I thought, Shoot, do I even dream anymore I mean, we all do but I just couldn’t remember. Still, I kept asking. Kept hoping. After several nights of being discouraged, I decided to calm down and just let it come if it was to come, One thing I remembered was that this man gave one piece of advice, “When you wake up, don’t jump out of bed. Don't open your phone, Just lie still. Stay with the moment and ask your mind to recall your last dream.”
So I did. I stayed still. And something came.
A dream of Lew. (I've only had one other dream of him btw)
He was sitting on our bed, dressed in white like soft pajamas. (that man had never worn pajamas in his life) He was calm, peaceful. I was surprised to see him. But yet again, not surprised, as if he was meant to be there. He had a head full of black hair. Like he was young again. He looked just like himself. Funny enough, He was on my side of the bed, which felt oddly meaningful in some way. It felt like spiritually he was still close to me in some way. Which brings me to tears even as I write this.
He was talking about a Bible verse, that he had in his hand on a piece of paper, though I wish I could remember which one. (If you knew my Lew this wasn't his get down, He wasn't spiritual or even the spiritual leader of our home, so for him to talk about a bible verse was interesting to me)
In the dream, I quoted Psalm 121 “I lift up my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord…” And then I asked him, “Do you remember anything about heaven?”
He looked at me and simply said, “No, I don’t.”
Something about that answer felt ok. Like he wasn’t here to give me answers, but just to be with me.
Since losing him, I’ve felt so alone. Scared. Worried about the future, about what’s going to happen to me. I wonder if you feel this too, that hollow fear that creeps into the quiet moments. The ache of missing your person, your anchor.
But this dream spoke to me even when there are no answers, love still finds its way through. Sometimes through a verse. Sometimes in a breath. Sometimes in a dream.
Now, if you haven't dreamt of your husband I don't want you reeling here. I'm not sure why I wanted to understand or even experience remembering my dreams. I am highly curious about our brains and how they work. Dreams are our unconscious mind still at work. There’s something to explore there for me and wanted to share it with you.
What was God revealing to me? Maybe just the fact that I may never know the answers to my dreams or why Lew is no longer here but God IS with me.Even, if I don’t feel that he is.
If my eyes choose to still look to the hills, I know that is where my help will come from. This child like trust is something we all must learn. We aren’t here to figure it out, to understand it all. We have a God that is extravagantly complex. Choosing to look to the hills even when I am not expecting and answer from him is where I find myself today.
This morning, I created this for myself, thought I would share it with you.
Anchor & Ask
1. Breathe & Settle
Place your hand on your heart. Take a few deep breaths. Picture your husband beside you calm, steady, white.
2. Speak a Scripture or Phrase
Something grounding. I say:
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord.” (Psalm 121)
3. Ask
Whisper in your heart:
“What do you want me to know today?” For me, I am asking God and Lew.
Pause. Listen. Maybe a memory, a feeling, or a small message comes. Maybe not. That’s okay too.
4. One Small Step
Ask yourself:
“What’s one small thing I can do today to care for myself?”
Even if it’s just getting up, drinking water, or letting yourself cry.
5. Close with this:
“I am not alone. I am loved. Even here, I am held.”
We are walking through something we never wanted to walk through. But I believe that in the middle of it there is still connection. There is still presence. There is still love.
You are not crazy. You are not weak. You are grieving. And you are deeply, deeply loved.
Hugs
From Your Friend Gina
